Monday, January 12, 2009

Bringing Home Paradise -- Week 2 -- Prioritize

As I seek to prioritize my resources with my husband in mind, these bullet points from The Excellent Wife jogged my thinking a bit (many of these pertain more to wives than husband's, but feel free to adapt as needed). You would most likely not conquer these all in a week, but they might get you thinking, give you some ideas, or a few might stand out that you can get started on:

- Ask your husband, "Is there anything that I can do differently that would make accomplishing your goals easier for you?" (Don't ask this if you don't want to hear and act on the answer . . .)

- Be organized with cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking. This frees your husband to do his work.

- Save some of your energy for him every day.

- Put him first over the children, your parents, friends, job, etc. (blogging, reading, etc. -- some of the rest of "my list")

- Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary

- Talk about him in a positive light to others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true. (This is so huge. I long ago committed to not speak poorly of my husband and have now and then had significant opportunities to speak well of him. When we speak poorly our thoughts often continue a downward spiral. When we speak well it can build up even greater.)

- Consider his work (job, goals, hobbies, work for the Lord) as more important than your own.

- Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.

- Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband. (I think this could go much deeper into our physical care for ourselves, our dress, our health, and our diet.)

- Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry

The list continues, and hopefully it has helped you think of many ways that you can show love to your spouse today and throughout this week.

And, as I always look for fresh ways to pray over my marriage and my spouse, I appreciated this recommendation that Martha Peace offered in the same book, "Begin by regularly and faithfully praying that your marriage will glorify and please God . . . Name your weaknesses, confess your sin, and ask God to change your and your husband's weaknesses into strengths." (emphasis mine)

I know that every weakness can also manifest itself as a strength, but I somehow never thought to actually pray that our weaknesses would turn into those strengths. Very wise counsel.

Continue to pray and seek God's direction to set your priorities with your spouse in mind.


Kris said...

I totally agree about speaking positively of your husband. I was fortunate to be able to make this committment early in my marriage. In my first "real" job, I worked with all women and, well, you know how we women can be when we get together. I thought some of these women must be married to complete ogres to hear them talk. Then, I would meet their husbands and discover that they were actually really nice people.

This experience led me to purpose in my heart to only speak positively about my husband when my witness about him was someone's only knowledge of him. I have always maintained that. I have a few close friends to whom I may vent on rare occasions, but these are people who know that I'm just venting and that my husband is a really wonderful man.

I'm enjoying this series of posts!

5intow said...


Thank you for the encouragement! I have prayed over this series more than any other posting I have ever done. There is so much need in marriage's today, both obvious and hidden.

Thank you for sharing your experience, too. Women have such a tendency to do this, often within ear shot of their husbands! I can't think how that must hurt them. I would be a blubbering mess if half those things were said about me.

Thanks for stopping by!

Courtney said...

I have also enjoyed reading "Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother" by Carolyn Mahaney. Just in case you're looking for reinforcement in your series.

5intow said...

Thanks, Courtney, for the recommendation. I am headed to the library in a couple days, I'm gonna go see if I can put it on hold.

Thank you!