Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mentoring Moments

About a year and a half ago now I started taking a specific time and setting it aside to spend with my oldest daughter. This past summer I continued the tradition with my second daughter.

Now, Tuesday nights from 8 to 8:30 I spend alone with Faith and Sunday morning from about 8:30-9:00 I spend with Paige. We do miss here and there, but for the most part these are set weekly events.

When I started meeting with Faith I ran into a little hiccup. I could not find a book that I liked and wanted to use for our time together. So, after a few months of reading and discussing Scripture passages, I decided to start writing my own.

Don't get me wrong. Scripture does not lack the foundation that our children need, but I wanted something that helped us look at Scripture from a young person's eyes and gave us topics to work through as well.

I recently finished Beautiful Girlhood with Paige and wanted something else to jump into. The first couple chapters of my slowly progressing "book" have given us a great new start.

I thought others might be in the same boat, so I figured I would share here what I have put together so far. For today, here is a bit of an introduction to what is to come and I will post the first few chapters one at a time over the next few weeks if people are interested in using them.

In honor of my girls I have titled this compilation:

Of Cowgirls and Princesses: God's design for young girls


Whispered good nights,
Dim night lights,
Kisses and hugs and bedtime prayers.
As the world fades to sleep, dreams awake.
What does a young girl discover in her dream world?
Fairies or puppies, ballerinas or balloons, animals and secrets, pilots and painters, cowgirls and princesses.

Each in their own bed, in their own bedroom, with their own family, in their own house, each unique, yet each sharing similar thoughts and dreams. God created each one in their surroundings to grow and learn and to discover a relationship with Him.

From birth or adoption, daughters have a special friend, one who loves them more than they realize. God created mothers with a special role to love their daughters and live out right in front of her what it takes to follow Him as a woman, a wife, a mom.

It is my prayer that this book will encourage both daughters and mothers in this special relationship with one another.

How to use this book

This book is not intended to be read straight through, but rather to be shared, discussed, and used as a backdrop for creating special memories with your daughter. I wrote this with my daughters in mind, in the 7-11 age range.

After my daughters turn eight we choose a time each week to enjoy our “tea time” together. We read from the Bible and other good books, discuss life, pray, and just enjoy each other’s company for about half an hour. I really enjoyed the book Beautiful Girlhood, but it was a little too old for my 8 year olds to jump into.

After searching for a book that would fill the need and coming up empty, I decided to write my own. So, each week I sit and write out our discussion topic for the week ahead. Sometimes we spend two weeks covering a chapter, but mostly we covered a chapter each week.

The extra reading ideas come from books that we enjoyed throughout that year or at other times. Some are just for the adult to read, some intended more for the child. Don’t feel you need to read them all. They are merely there if you find yourself looking for more in any given topic.

Use this as a tool, a tool to grow the precious relationship that God has given between mother and daughter. Use it as a springboard. The conversations prompted with each daughter progressed very differently based on their thoughts, interests, questions, and observations. More than likely, your times will not match either of mine. If she raises a question that you don’t know the answer to, find the answer. Search the Scripture and discuss God’s perspective together, always pointing her to Him. These days move too quickly. We must intentionally lay a foundation and start building before the teenage era and then adulthood moved us apart.

These became treasured times for us, and I pray the same for you.


AFwife99 said...

That is a really good idea. It is so important to live a purposeful life. Intention is good, but without follow-through nothing really happens. I am going to pray about a specific time and way to mentor my girls.

5intow said...

AFwife, I cannot encourage you enough to find the time to do this. When my girls were younger it was enough to take them one at a time on weekly errands.

It seemed for mine around the age of 8 or 9 that they really craved some more real alone time with me. The trick is finding a time that you can commit to each week because weeks can vary so much. In a couple more years I'll need to find another time slot I can commit to every week, but I have lots more motivation now as I see the benefit in the relationship growth with my other daughters.

Go for it! Can't wait to hear this working in your house as well. :)

Amy in Peru said...

You are the one who has inspired this idea that is still on the back burner in my mind... I think I really need to start soon even though my Bria is only recently 7. I really feel having had the two boys first - we both need a little relationship booster. She needs a more sensitive mommy and I need to remember that girls are SO different! Anyway, I'm thinking your ideas are going to hit the spot! :)

Amy in Peru