Whose strength?

Sometimes I need a little stumble to remind me whose strength I live in. Sometimes things quickly pile up and my ‘old nature’ quickly rises to the surface and takes charge. Sometimes I forget that my greatest strength is His until I hear His still, small voice that opens my eyes and reminds me how much I need to rely on Him.

This morning my patience started out in a bear market. Every little rumor or whisper of a rumor continued to drive it down. Nathan making messes, Brooke needing help in the bathroom, some of our boys acting like they forgot some of the rules and expectations, emails from teachers about homework confusion, Daisy (our dog) messing with the garbage. Just ‘one of those’ mornings. I was getting snippy.

We were piling into the car for a little visit with another family and the stress of getting everyone out of the house jumped on me. I snapped at my younger kids. As I sat there starting the car I evaluated my attitude. Way off mark. This was the real me. This was me running on my own energy, my own emotions, my own agenda.

God continued to prod, “How should you be running?” In His power, in His Spirit. Memorizing Scriptures is priceless. Mornings like this when my quiet time from last night has faded to the background, these verses I have memorized throughout the years come to mind.

If we walk in the light as He is in the light . . . Be filled with the Spirit . . . The fruit of the spirit is:

Love . . .

Joy . . .

Peace . . .

Patience . . .

Kindness . . .

(I started getting choked up on these as I realized how many of them were absent from my attitude this morning)

Goodness . . . Faithfulness . . . Gentleness

And, self-control.

Of course, I couldn’t ignore my verse for this week, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness.” Definitely not what I was seeking just then.

Wow, that was enough to mentally digest for the remainder of the car ride. Fortunately, my kids were now quiet as God worked on my heart. He gently brought these verses deep into my being and reworked my attitude and perspective. I remembered what a blessing these children are, what a joy and opportunity my job is, what a loving and protective God I have. How patient and kind He is toward me when I least deserve it.

And, how He continually forgives my wayward heart. The remainder of the day I have still hit speed bumps, but God had realigned my wheels and I didn’t falter when I hit. He stayed in control.

Now, we’ll see about tomorrow.