$20k before 18 - part 4 (Set Goals)

This might seem like it should be done earlier in the game, but most little kids aren't ready to think about college costs. To a seven year old $20 is a lot of money. They can't even grasp $20,000 (or differentiate it from $20 billion). For that reason, we begin with casual conversations and instilling values like budgeting and hard work. Kids will be ready at varying ages for the next step - setting goals.

This is also where the path can get a little tricky, because each one will look a little different. 

Set goals. While this is the first step in this season, it is also perhaps the most difficult. Sometimes kids just don't know. Don't know what they want to be, where they want to go to school, what they want to major in, what their next step should be.

If our kids were not sure about a direction, we would steer them toward community college and part time work. Amazingly, we haven't actually gone this route with the three that have graduated high school already, but this was talked about with each of them at some point.

Goals can include (but not limited to):
Getting a degree
Going into the military
Starting a business
Getting married
Buying a home
Buying a car
Going to community college
Finding an apprenticeship or internship
Helping the family at home
Starting a ministry
Traveling
Etc., etc.

This is the dream phase, it's ok if some are a little lofty. :)
Pray through this step like you have never prayed before. 

Cast a vision. Once they settle on a couple goals (or just one is fine, too, but no more than three), figure out what it will really take to get there. Sometimes seeing in black and white how much money or training or time is involved can be a little discouraging, but this is the time to dig in and get busy.


We have never made a dream board or vision board, but this might be a great time to bring up that option for those that benefit from a visible reminder of why they are running a cash register for hours every weekend. I don't know this person, just found they had a clear post on vision boards, so if you are interested, there is that (you can ignore her endless repetitions about her free ebook). 

Let them see the need. Add up the cost of a college education, the car they want (including maintenance, insurance, etc.), start up costs, independent living expenses. It doesn't need to get overwhelming. Break it down by monthly costs, compare different locations, schools, cars, whatever. This is to give them a realistic look, but hopefully not squash their dreams.

An interesting side note here, while we would prefer our kids graduate college with no debt, I  heard it said that your debt should not exceed about two thirds of your anticipated income the first year after graduation. That expects them to pay $150 a month for 20 years!!! We'll keep aiming for no debt, thank you very much.

Let them own the need, and their education (or car, or house, or business). This does not mean that you cannot help them. We have made it clear up front what we are able to do and not do for our kids (doing our best to figure out what we can realistically maintain through child #6) as they transition to full independence. But, the understanding, that their expenses are generally their own make the blessing all the more apparent when we throw in something extra, or even the years when we just stick to our standard portion.

Setting goals and helping kids own their own dreams has probably had the biggest single impact on their success as they head out on their own (aside from prayer, and clearly God's grace, ok, so the biggest humanly driven impact).

They won't want a job if they don't see a reason for personal money.

They won't press into their studies if they don't have long term motivation for academic achievement.

They won't seek God's leading and direction if we keep telling them what to do and they continue to just coast until something strikes their fancy.

They won't own it unless it's theirs.

All of this, girded about with prayer. Prayer for myself, for my husband, for our kids, for their friends, for their faith, for their futures.