Learning to Savor - even more deeply

With a house full of littles I learned, however imperfectly, to savor each moment. Not to rush it, not to wish it over.

But, in the midst of savoring I was not blind to the things I would not miss.

I would cherish the 2 AM feeding, but be grateful the 10, 12, 4, 6, 8 feedings wouldn't last forever.

Hold tight to the snuggles, but find peace that I would not have kids hanging on me forever.

Live in the simplicity of early childhood routine, while still thankful that I would not always need to remind them to change their clothes, brush their teeth, make their bed, do their chores.

Now, on the cusp of another child leaving home I savor the whole season.

Midnight conversations, wrestling through tough decisions and full schedules, managing who has what vehicle and where and until when, seeing faith personalized, hearing of relationships deepening, God on the move, child initiated daily devotion time.

But, at times I still think I won't miss the stuff left around the house as they hurry from one commitment to the next, the empty gas tanks, the full laundry baskets, the unpredictable meal count, or the irregular hours.

I'm really just fooling myself. I'll miss it all. Every bag, shoe, and article of clothing found in a random spot. Every "disruption" to routine.

I'll miss every bit of it. The same way my heart grows heavy yet full when I see a young mom with three or four littles in tow at the grocery store.

The same way my breath grows shaky when I realize I don't trip over toys in the family room any more.

The same way my eyes sting just a bit when I realize the morning snuggle time with my youngest has grown sporadic.

They grow and change, and become the people they are supposed to. I wouldn't want it any other way.

But, I have learned to savor both the good and the bad, because I will surely miss every little bit of it.