Wednesday Worship - Idols

 Who is truly my Lord?

 

I quickly reply with, "The one true God of the Bible." 

But is He?

On the way to church recently, God called me out. I was having a moment and was not living out this truth in front of my family. I was frustrated that we were late. Not everyone had their mask despite reminders before we left home. Then it seemed to take everyone forever to get out of the vehicle when we arrived, three minutes after the service already started. of course, finding seats together for the six of us with all the social distancing required right now was not easy.

I think I controlled my words, although I was frustrated, but where was my heart at that time? What was my god in that moment? We entered church and began to sing and this song continued to draw out my thoughts as I confessed my emotional disarray to God. As piece by piece fell away, I realized that I often make "Put togetherness" my idol. 

It could go by similar names - order, control, routine.

This is really a symptom of pride. "Pride can be summarized as an attitude of self-sufficiency, self-importance, and self-exaltation in relation to God." Pride worries more about myself than others. More about my emotional state than honoring God in the moment. 

When the pressure builds, the feeling or at least appearance of being put-together, well-ordered, is my highest priority. When it falls apart, so do I. Instead of turning to God for my peace and security, I expect my schedules, habits, and diligence to accomplish that. Put-togetherness brings me contentment instead forcing me to look for it in the true King of my heart. 

While it is easy to chide Esau for so heedlessly throwing away his birthright, ("What good is it if I'm going to die?") how quickly do I blurt out, "What good is my faith if my life is in disarray?" I disregard the powerful peace that God offers when parts of my life seem out of tune. His peace does not depend on earthly circumstance and yet my craving for and indulging in peace through earthly order cheapens His. 

I may not make an idol of things or money, but God has zeroed in on my need to surrender this hunger for order and keep it well beneath His place in my life. 

After awareness and confession, I need to move on to the next step. I have to remove this idol from its elevated place in my life. Some idols are relatively easy to know how to remove (although the process is not necessarily easy). This one, I honestly find a little challenging. 

Obviously, God is a God of order, not chaos. Removing this idol from my life does not mean tumbling into chaos or spending days without schedules on my knees in worship. My family needs to eat, homeschooling needs to happen, the house needs cleaning, life must be sustained. But, how does it look to do this in a way that does not make the order itself king?

Surrender verbally to God. I needed to name this idol. Write it down, describe it, articulate it and get ready to cross it off my list of needs. I don't need to be or appear put-together to find God's joy and peace in this life.

Humility and selfless priorities. When order starts nosing its way back onto the throne of my heart it usually appears in snapping at my kids for ruining my expectations of that day, experience, setting, etc. This is something I quickly recognize, but do not always back away from. Now, with the recognition that this is not just a poor parenting moment, but also idolatry, I am more inclined to take a breath, quiet my heart, calm my voice, and proceed in love.

Examine motives constantly. This is not going away overnight. I will need to take up my cross daily and crucify this again, removing the hold it has on my emotions. Is God my motivation for everything I seek to accomplish today? Or, is accomplishment the goal in and of itself? I don't want to ever be ruled by my to-do list again. 

Conviction soaks through me over this area of weakness. God deserves my heart's throne. All day, everyday. Those intangible idols are sometimes harder to identify, but once God calls them out and we name them, they must be tackled and not tolerated. While they pretend to offer peace, instead they breed discontent.

Lord, may you be my source of peace always. Let my own accomplishments and created order merely flood over from the joy of an obedient heart. May they remain as the side effects of my faith and never again the focus of it. May it shine brightly to all around me that you are King of my heart. In Jesus name, amen.