The car drives away

 

Many times throughout my life I have stood by as a car drove away, carrying away a loved one and ushering in a new chapter, a new season, a new path. 

This past month, again I stood. 

The car held two pieces of my heart and the decorations made clear that they had just become man and wife. The streamers trailed behind, the sticky notes fluttered and lifted in the breeze, the balloons popped and drifted. And, my eyes threatened to overflow. 

This was not the first time though. 

In 2014 (and every two years since), I have watched out our living room window as one of our kids would drive themselves away from our home for the first time. 

Independent. Maturing. Separate. The way it should be. 

We don't raise them to live under our roof endlessly.  We nurture, instruct, admonish, model, teach, provide, and protect. And, at some point, or rather many points, they push a little further away from us, as they should. They make friends, plan schedules, take jobs, and branch out. As they should.

In 2015 I also stood in the living room and watched my husband drive away with our oldest as he headed off to his freshman year of college. 

With five other kids at home, we decided it was really not the best plan to drag everyone into a nearby state to say good-bye. So, we parted at our front door, and my husband drove off with a packed van and our precious first born. 

He was ready. As was his sister two years later and another this year. But readiness doesn't make the parting any easier. There are still floods of memories that attack at times like these. 

And, as during any bittersweet moment, I steer my thoughts back around to the "sweet." Despite my intentionality to savor each season of parenthood, I still find it goes too quickly. We had so many precious times together from family vacations to the mundane ordinariness of daily life. With a full household, the memories get jumbled together and I'm ever so thankful for pictures that captured moments I have long since forgotten (or mixed up which kids it involved). I am thankful for calendars I jotted notes on, blog posts about random occurrences, and Facebook that shows the highlight reel of many of those years. 

Even though these milestone moments continue to tick past, and despite my craving to cling to the sweet memories, I taste the bitter edge with the realization that time stands still for no one. It seems I still have a good number of years yet ahead of me in the parenting game, with a 10 year old still under foot. But I know these 8 years will be just one more blink, so I resolve again:

Savor each season

Treasure each snuggle

Capitalize on each question

Laugh together at their silliness

Ask the questions and really listen to their answers

And really listen to their questions

Take a breath before responding in selfish impatience and instead speak the love they need

Play that board game

Go on that bike ride

Make those memories

Take extra effort making dinner special

Plan time together

Hug that teenager

Pray together at bedtime 

Pray for them every moment of everyday

Because before I know it, the car drives away again.