Parenting adult children
This is not a how-to post as I have no idea what I'm doing.
Our oldest is less than five years into adulthood, so we are still fairly new on this scene.
But, here we find ourselves -- at the beginning of this longest stage of parenting.
Parenting doesn't end when your "kids" become adults. For some reason I thought that once my kids turned 18 that they magically transitioned into adulthood and we had no responsibility for them. This became obviously false the closer we got to that so-called "magic" age.
There is very little information on parenting adult kids. As I said, I have no idea what I'm doing, so I have done some serious searching for helpful reading material. We have no control over these adults that we had some incredible blessing in raising, and hardly any books or articles are written on parenting these independent beings. Most ministry groups and supports are targeting a certain age. Parenting preschoolers (0-4 years old), parenting elementary kids (5-10), parenting tweens/teens (11-17). After that, you are on your own. Maybe that was what fed into my thinking that parenting somehow ended at 18.
In some ways, parenting gets harder as they enter adulthood. Evidence for this might rest in the few books available on the topic and how many of those minimal number of books relate to prodigal children or dealing with estranged children or failure to launch concerns. While those are certainly important and potentially heartbreaking issues, I want a book that just talks about "normal" young adult parenting stuff. I find myself rewriting the rules every few months as we figure out what life looks like now.
The joys of parenting adults are unparalleled. Is there really anything like it? Watching your child graduate college and launch into a career. Seeing your daughter dressed like a princess for her wedding day. Watching dreams come true. Watching independence and responsibility bloom. Hearing about those big milestones (that you are not always in the same room for any more) like buying a car, putting an offer on their first home, interviewing for the next career move, or even just planning their trip home for the holidays.
The warmth and sentimentality that erupts at sometimes unexpected times makes parenting adult children one of the best seasons of parenting, and once upon a time, I didn't even know it existed.
Despite my acknowledgement that this season brings mixed emotions, uncharted waters, and completely new challenges, it also retains one of the longest standing parental responsibilities - prayer.
That never changes. I might not have any idea about what else my kids need at this point in their lives, but they still need me on my knees every chance I get.
Our oldest is less than five years into adulthood, so we are still fairly new on this scene.
But, here we find ourselves -- at the beginning of this longest stage of parenting.
There is very little information on parenting adult kids. As I said, I have no idea what I'm doing, so I have done some serious searching for helpful reading material. We have no control over these adults that we had some incredible blessing in raising, and hardly any books or articles are written on parenting these independent beings. Most ministry groups and supports are targeting a certain age. Parenting preschoolers (0-4 years old), parenting elementary kids (5-10), parenting tweens/teens (11-17). After that, you are on your own. Maybe that was what fed into my thinking that parenting somehow ended at 18.
In some ways, parenting gets harder as they enter adulthood. Evidence for this might rest in the few books available on the topic and how many of those minimal number of books relate to prodigal children or dealing with estranged children or failure to launch concerns. While those are certainly important and potentially heartbreaking issues, I want a book that just talks about "normal" young adult parenting stuff. I find myself rewriting the rules every few months as we figure out what life looks like now.
The joys of parenting adults are unparalleled. Is there really anything like it? Watching your child graduate college and launch into a career. Seeing your daughter dressed like a princess for her wedding day. Watching dreams come true. Watching independence and responsibility bloom. Hearing about those big milestones (that you are not always in the same room for any more) like buying a car, putting an offer on their first home, interviewing for the next career move, or even just planning their trip home for the holidays.
The warmth and sentimentality that erupts at sometimes unexpected times makes parenting adult children one of the best seasons of parenting, and once upon a time, I didn't even know it existed.
Despite my acknowledgement that this season brings mixed emotions, uncharted waters, and completely new challenges, it also retains one of the longest standing parental responsibilities - prayer.
That never changes. I might not have any idea about what else my kids need at this point in their lives, but they still need me on my knees every chance I get.
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