It's okay to be bored

A bit ago, a friend blogged about the speed with which we stick an entertainment device in front of our kids when out and about (and likely at home as well). Her thoughtful post on Child Training vs. Dumbing Kids Down got me thinking about a broader issue at play here.

In modern society we have very little reason to ever allow discomfort of any kind.

We have very little tolerance for boredom, heat, cold, humidity, sitting still, being too quiet, loud noises, empty schedules, full calendars, scratchy clothes, growling stomachs, parched lips, shoes that pinch, wrinkles in socks, bright sunshine, uncomfortable chairs, old cars, long programs, whiny kids, crabby people, over-salted food, under-seasoned soup, and on and on. We want balance, and will rearrange our world or day to achieve that. And, more honestly, we want things to be pretty close to perfect.

I had an epiphany sometime this past year when we had a less structured day than normal and I heard those words from my child. You know the ones.

"I'm bored."

At first, my mind started racing for ideas and activities to fill the dry spell. I quickly calculated the amount of screen time left in the day, took a mental inventory of on-hand craft supplies, and thought of half a dozen friends we could invite over or to various activities, while trying to remember if I still had a new book he might like.

Then I stopped.

It was okay to be bored! That wasn't really a problem I needed to fix. What? Really? Yes. It is okay to be bored.

"That's okay," I said.

He didn't buy it at first. But, as we have had more conversations about this issue he has realized that boredom is not a problem that I need to solve for him, nor will I solve it. He can find something to fill his time. Or, he can just be "bored" for a little bit.

This also goes with being thirsty when we do not have a drink on hand (did any of you carry water everywhere you went as a child?) Yes, it's uncomfortable, but it is not life threatening.

And, humans will actually not die if they do not eat within 15 minutes of feeling hunger.

I'm not talking about neglecting basic needs or skipping regular meals or requiring a child to sit in a chair for an unreasonably extended time. And, there will also be exceptions for kids with sensory issues when something being itchy or uncomfortable will soon escalate into a melt down that might take hours to recover from.

I'm talking about normal discomforts that we have just gotten used to eliminating because we live in the 21st century and we can. Maybe sometimes it's ok to eat food that doesn't taste good, be thirsty for a little while, experience a growling stomach, have cold fingers, sweat, and be bored.

Experiencing an annoyance is not a reason to be annoying, complaining, arguing, or whiny.

Maybe that discomfort can remind us that we are not the center of the universe and others don't need to cater to our whims and comforts.

In letting my kids be bored or thirsty or uncomfortable they have time to think about the needs of others and an opportunity to learn patience, humility, and perseverance. Major lessons that can come from a minor hardship.

And, if I ask it of them, I clearly need to ask it of myself. Letting the spirit of Christ dwell in me richly so that even when I'm worn down and even have a physical need that could be met, I still need to choose to speak lovingly, respond kindly, and keep negative emotions in check.

Tough life lessons that might start with being bored.